Tony robbins

Does it always have to be hard?

I've been telling myself a story and it goes like this: "Everything has to be hard.  Growth must come through bumps and bruises.  If it wasn’t difficult, I didn't try hard enough.”  By making this my belief, I was demanding it be my destiny.  Like most limiting beliefs, I had no idea it was even within me.

My first big ‘aha moment’ came while recording T.H.E. Celebration Academy.  After recording half the lessons, I was feeling like I did something wrong.  That I somehow didn’t give it my all.  Then it hit me.  I was feeling that way because the process was so easy and natural.   I had anticipated it the road to be rocky and when it was smooth I felt anxious.  

Have you ever felt that way? That because it wasn’t hard or painful it wasn’t done right.  It took me 29 years to realize I held this belief.  

One key to self-awareness is recognizing our repetitive thoughts.  Receptive thoughts that diminish our self-worth become limiting beliefs.  These are the beliefs that tell us not to try, to give up before we start, and that we are not worthy.  They are the thoughts and beliefs that plague us with insecurity and doubt.   I say boooo to them!

So what can we do?  First thing I did was to get a big ole’ flashlight.  Our limiting beliefs like to hide in the shadows.  Once you shine a light on them, they are no longer able to influence us in stealth.  Asking questions is the brightest light you can shine on a thought.

Here’s the process I used:

1.  Name it and say, “I see you limiting belief!” 

2.  Get curious and ask questions.

3. Envision a different possibility. 

Here’s an example:

A few days ago I came home from work feeling like I hadn’t given the day my all.  I got curious about my emotions, and asked myself questions.  In response, I started listing off all that I did that day.  To my my amazement, I had actually accomplished a lot! So I asked,  Why am I feeling like I somehow failed? Then it hit me, I am operating under my limiting belief that if it wasn’t hard, it wasn’t done right.  

Since the day wasn’t filled with stress and fires, I could only conclude that I did something wrong.  Naming that instantly gave me the choice, do I really believe that? Is that the only way I can be successful?   I then began to envision a different possibility.  That I can feel fulfillment and accomplishment without the presence of turbulence.

I know that a diamond is created under pressure.  That muscle is built through resistance.  That with difficulty comes ease.  These mindsets propel me through each challenge that comes my way.  However, I had began to believe that success could ONLY come through adversity.  

Rather than being empowering, I had transformed my philosophy into something that was holding me back.  I now have a more balanced belief system. I have a healthy relationship with challenge. While at the same time, I know that I can also grow through happiness, laughter, love, and ease. 

I’d love to hear your perspective and thoughts.  What does this bring up for you?  Do you see this showing up in your life?

Let me know if you have any questions.  

Peace and Blessings!

This is also available is an iTunes podcast episode!