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Reflections On ‘Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents’ With Stacey Cosden and Lloyd Wilkey

There is a widely shared photo from the era of the Nazi 3rd Reich.  In it you see everyone ‘heiling’ and saluting to the Führer except for one lone figure. 

Often there is a red circle drawn around this person.  Pointing out the only person standing against the tide of genocide and authoritarianism. 

In Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents, Isabel Wilkerson opens her book by asking: 

“We might feel certain that, were we Aryan citizens under the Third Reich, we surely would have seen through it, would have risen above it like him, been that person resisting authoritarianism and brutality in the face of mass hysteria...But unless people are willing to transcend their fears, endure discomfort and derision, suffer the scorn of loved ones and neighbors and co-workers and friends, fall into disfavor of perhaps everyone they know, face exclusion and even banishment, it would be numerically impossible, humanly impossible, for everyone to be that man. What would it take to be him in any era? What would it take to be him now?”

As Isabel Wilkerson points out, while we all may assert we would be that person, the reality is that “it would be numerically impossible, humanly impossible, for everyone to be that man.” 

Isabel Wilkerson’s Book ‘Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents’ provides an opportunity to strive to “be that man.” 

If there is one book you plan to read this year, it is my wish that this be amongst your top considerations. 

On this week’s episode, I am joined by past guest’s Stacey Cosden and Lloyd Wilkey to discuss and reflect upon Isabel Wilkerson’s Caste.   

Together we share with you some of the passages, insights, ahas, and emotions that deeply impacted us. 

There is no way we can do the book justice in just 1 hour. 

Which is why, once again, I highly encourage you to please buy and read Isabel Wilkerson’s Book “Caste.”

You can do so here.


More About Our Guests:

Stacey Cosden is a Marketing Coach with Tom at T.H.E. Celebration. While she is currently in marketing, she’s spent over 20 years working with the public school system. Through her various roles in the system, Stacey has been an advocate for her community, students and their families, and an activist for reform. Stacey’s true passion is building healthy community that supports marginalized voices. 

You can follow Stacey on Instagram here. 

Lloyd Wilkey is the founder of the Mindful Policing Project, He is a recognized expert on community/police relations. He facilitates law enforcement training, community dialogues, and engages in activism to advance his concept of Mindful Policing. He advocates for policies and procedures which will result in transparency, accountability, and restorative justice.

You can follow Lloyd here.

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Creativity is: Complicated, Poetic and History-Telling with Lloyd Wilkey and Liz Prisley

We are all creatives

Each day we are engaging in creative work. 

In our thinking, unique way of approaching our life, and in what we are building. 

But what does it mean to be a creative? 

This episode kicks off a series that will be exploring this very question. 

Each month I’ll share with you two people who dive into what creativity means to them. 

Our guests this week are Liz Prisley and  Lloyd Wilkey. 

Both are brilliant creatives and I am blessed to count them as good friends. 

In 6 words or less, Liz describes herself as: “Passionate. Intersectional. Feminist. Poet. Leader. Educational.”

In 6 words or less, Lloyd describes himself as: “It’s Complicated.”

On this week’s episode, Liz and Lloyd explore how creativity can be complicated, history-telling, and poetic. 

And of course so much more. 

Get ready to dive into your unique creativity. 

You can learn more about Liz here.

You can learn more about Lloyd here.

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What is Islam to You? A Roundtable Discussion

“You’re Muslim? Really?” This is a question I’ve been asked many times by both Muslims and non-Muslims. 

Usually, shock and raised eyebrows accompany the question. 

Sometimes, it’s also accompanied by a clenched fist of anger and a feeling of betrayal, with an undertone of, “I thought you were one of us” permeating the question. 

It’s fair to say that in the American mindset, there is a dominant image that we picture when we are prompted to envision a Muslim. 

For the most part, that picture isn’t of a white guy named Tom hailing from a small rural town in Wisconsin. 

In fact, if we were to continue down Stereotype Road, the white guy named Tom socialized in a small rural American town would be the one voting for politicians who want to ban Islam. 

Accordingly, given my background, there has been some curiosity as to how I embraced Islam.  

Over the years, I have been asked to be a part of a few “viral” videos that explore the Muslim American identity. 

Each time these videos were released, I was gifted an opportunity to receive massive feedback on the deeper implications of “Meet a Muslim” type videos. 

One takeaway, for me, has been this: 

While my story has elements of it that are rich and unique, I also have many social advantages that my fellow Muslims may not. Therefore, there is a real danger that my story is continually elevated over that of other Muslims. 

We all have something beautiful and powerful to contribute in the telling of our own stories. 

Each time we listen to one another’s stories, it allows us an opportunity to see the world through someone else’s eyes. 

I believe this is one of the first seeds of empathy. 

This isn’t to discount or minimize my own story: but I do believe that when my story becomes a focal point, we lose sight of the richness of Muslim American experience. 

Whenever I am asked to share my experience as a Muslim American – these thoughts occupy my mind as I consider my participation. 

Which is why, when my good friend, Chris, asked me if he could interview me about being Muslim, I paused to consider first. 

After thinking, I said, “yes, and”: 

  1. Let’s do a roundtable where you ask other Muslims about their experiences too. 

  2. I’ll record the conversation and share it with my podcast listeners. 

He gave an enthusiastic green light to both ideas.

This was decided at 10AM. The interview was scheduled for 2PM that very same day. 

Over the next 4 hours, I sent out texts and DMs to my friends asking if they were free at 2PM and if they’d like to be a part of the roundtable. 

I am grateful to the guests who agreed to chat with Chris and me on such short notice, and with minimal detail and direction. 

Please accept my sincere apologies in advance if you feel your voice is absent from this conversation. Islam has an incredibly diverse following, and I could never do that diversity justice in a one-hour episode.

Now, this may go on the record books as the longest podcast writeup in the history of Tom Earl podcast writeups, so I’ll end it here, but:

My friends – do yourself this favor. 

Hit play on this one. 

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Give Closure to 2020 & Intentionally Start 2021

2020, right? Wow.  I could probably start every episode writeup this way and get away with it. 

Here’s the thing - I bet if we took the time - there is a lot we can get out of reflecting on 2020. 

The intention of this week’s episode is to provide you with the time, space, and process to do so. 

This episode also acts as a time capsule. 

1 year ago I sat down with a group of my friends and we went through a writing workshop to get clear on our intentions for 2020. 

Little did we know…

And yet - no matter what surprises and worldwide pandemics the future will hold - getting intentional first offers us a foundation to stand on. 

That is why I’m bringing this episode back to life as a replay for you this week. 

First and foremost it gives me the opportunity to go through this writing workshop myself and create closure for 2020, while also giving life to 2021. 

Secondly, I hope it allows you to do the same. 

Even if you don’t have time to sit down and write as you listen - you’ll still get a lot out of going through the writing prompts mentally. 

If you don’t take the time now - 2020 is going to be done and dusted before we even know it. 

Please - give yourself the gift of reflection by going through this episode. 

Do yourself that favor. 

Hit play. 

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Gifts for My Child Episode 7

Featuring: Shelby Birch, Moses Weir, Walter Wally B. Jennings, and Jessica Estevez

Wow! Can you believe it?! This is the final episode of the ‘Gifts for My Child’ series. For those of you just tuning in – I highly recommend you start with episode 1 of this series. 

I am so grateful to all of my friends who shared their time, their love, and their wisdom with Jayanma by participating in this project. 

There are so many intentions and aspirations that went into this project. One of the main ones being that I want Jayanma to know that there is a community of people ready to listen and be there for her. 

As a new dad, these interviews have been such a resource! 

I am so excited for Jayanma to listen to this as she gets older. I envision her checking them out 32 years later, and reflecting on her dad creating them while he was 32 and preparing for her arrival. 

Wow. What a fun thought. 

Speaking of – I’d love to hear your thoughts on this project. And, as always, if you have any advice or reflections on any questions I asked my guests, please send them in!

Thank you so much for listening to this series! 

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My Year of Adventure

Each year I set an intention for what my “year of” will be.  In past years, I’ve manifested My Year of Expression, My Year of Balance, My Year of Courage and most recently, My Year of Grace. 

This episode introduces what this year will be - My Year of Adventure! 

To introduce the theme, I take a group of my friends through a writing workshop exploring what adventures this next year will bring.

If you’re looking for an opportunity to set your new year’s intentions and goals - let’s do this.

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A Q&A Session With Close Friends

In this week’s episode, I host a special Q&A session with some of my awesome friends for an intimate and engaging opportunity. I allow my friends to ask any questions they like - including questions around politics, privilege in the coaching space, how to grow an audience as a musician, advice for creatives about how to get over the feeling of vulnerability when you’re putting out new work, how to decide which social media platforms to leverage if you have limited time and more. 

What I love about Q&A sessions is that you are sure to find some clarity related to questions that you’ve also been wondering. 

Q&A is my favorite form of content because instead of general advice, I can provide specific and nuanced feedback according to the asker’s concerns. I enjoy hearing the range of topics my friends are working on.

If any questions come up for you be sure to reach out on social media or email me at tom@tomearl.com.  

For our next Live Q&A session, visit - www.tomearl.com/events 

Guests: 

Sadiya Sassine IG - @sadiyasassine

@yummy.online

Samia Bano

Grant Hartwell IG - @grantsyourguy

Women’s Mosque

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