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Reflections On ‘Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents’ With Stacey Cosden and Lloyd Wilkey

There is a widely shared photo from the era of the Nazi 3rd Reich.  In it you see everyone ‘heiling’ and saluting to the Führer except for one lone figure. 

Often there is a red circle drawn around this person.  Pointing out the only person standing against the tide of genocide and authoritarianism. 

In Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents, Isabel Wilkerson opens her book by asking: 

“We might feel certain that, were we Aryan citizens under the Third Reich, we surely would have seen through it, would have risen above it like him, been that person resisting authoritarianism and brutality in the face of mass hysteria...But unless people are willing to transcend their fears, endure discomfort and derision, suffer the scorn of loved ones and neighbors and co-workers and friends, fall into disfavor of perhaps everyone they know, face exclusion and even banishment, it would be numerically impossible, humanly impossible, for everyone to be that man. What would it take to be him in any era? What would it take to be him now?”

As Isabel Wilkerson points out, while we all may assert we would be that person, the reality is that “it would be numerically impossible, humanly impossible, for everyone to be that man.” 

Isabel Wilkerson’s Book ‘Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents’ provides an opportunity to strive to “be that man.” 

If there is one book you plan to read this year, it is my wish that this be amongst your top considerations. 

On this week’s episode, I am joined by past guest’s Stacey Cosden and Lloyd Wilkey to discuss and reflect upon Isabel Wilkerson’s Caste.   

Together we share with you some of the passages, insights, ahas, and emotions that deeply impacted us. 

There is no way we can do the book justice in just 1 hour. 

Which is why, once again, I highly encourage you to please buy and read Isabel Wilkerson’s Book “Caste.”

You can do so here.


More About Our Guests:

Stacey Cosden is a Marketing Coach with Tom at T.H.E. Celebration. While she is currently in marketing, she’s spent over 20 years working with the public school system. Through her various roles in the system, Stacey has been an advocate for her community, students and their families, and an activist for reform. Stacey’s true passion is building healthy community that supports marginalized voices. 

You can follow Stacey on Instagram here. 

Lloyd Wilkey is the founder of the Mindful Policing Project, He is a recognized expert on community/police relations. He facilitates law enforcement training, community dialogues, and engages in activism to advance his concept of Mindful Policing. He advocates for policies and procedures which will result in transparency, accountability, and restorative justice.

You can follow Lloyd here.

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5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before the New Year

How often do you intentionally reflect upon your day?

Life has a way of rushing by without allowing us time to reflect.  

And yet, it is in that reflection that we are able to gain perspective: to notice patterns, behaviors, and feelings that shape our lives. 

That very perspective is what allows us to become self-aware and intentional in how we live our lives. 

The start of a New Year provides a great collective opportunity to ask ourselves big questions. 

So this week’s episode provides 5 reflection questions you can ask yourself to close this year and start the New Year from a place of empowerment. 

When we stop and pause, we often discover new treasures:

Experiences, people, things, moments that we are grateful for – and, at the same time, ways we can embrace our badass selves a little more boldly and deeply. 

As you go through this week’s episode, I’d love to hear about your discoveries.  

If you’re feeling generous, please share with me some of your notes or the answers you find. 

Do yourself this favor. 

Gift yourself this time. 

Let’s do it. 

Hit play. 

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What is Islam to You? A Roundtable Discussion

“You’re Muslim? Really?” This is a question I’ve been asked many times by both Muslims and non-Muslims. 

Usually, shock and raised eyebrows accompany the question. 

Sometimes, it’s also accompanied by a clenched fist of anger and a feeling of betrayal, with an undertone of, “I thought you were one of us” permeating the question. 

It’s fair to say that in the American mindset, there is a dominant image that we picture when we are prompted to envision a Muslim. 

For the most part, that picture isn’t of a white guy named Tom hailing from a small rural town in Wisconsin. 

In fact, if we were to continue down Stereotype Road, the white guy named Tom socialized in a small rural American town would be the one voting for politicians who want to ban Islam. 

Accordingly, given my background, there has been some curiosity as to how I embraced Islam.  

Over the years, I have been asked to be a part of a few “viral” videos that explore the Muslim American identity. 

Each time these videos were released, I was gifted an opportunity to receive massive feedback on the deeper implications of “Meet a Muslim” type videos. 

One takeaway, for me, has been this: 

While my story has elements of it that are rich and unique, I also have many social advantages that my fellow Muslims may not. Therefore, there is a real danger that my story is continually elevated over that of other Muslims. 

We all have something beautiful and powerful to contribute in the telling of our own stories. 

Each time we listen to one another’s stories, it allows us an opportunity to see the world through someone else’s eyes. 

I believe this is one of the first seeds of empathy. 

This isn’t to discount or minimize my own story: but I do believe that when my story becomes a focal point, we lose sight of the richness of Muslim American experience. 

Whenever I am asked to share my experience as a Muslim American – these thoughts occupy my mind as I consider my participation. 

Which is why, when my good friend, Chris, asked me if he could interview me about being Muslim, I paused to consider first. 

After thinking, I said, “yes, and”: 

  1. Let’s do a roundtable where you ask other Muslims about their experiences too. 

  2. I’ll record the conversation and share it with my podcast listeners. 

He gave an enthusiastic green light to both ideas.

This was decided at 10AM. The interview was scheduled for 2PM that very same day. 

Over the next 4 hours, I sent out texts and DMs to my friends asking if they were free at 2PM and if they’d like to be a part of the roundtable. 

I am grateful to the guests who agreed to chat with Chris and me on such short notice, and with minimal detail and direction. 

Please accept my sincere apologies in advance if you feel your voice is absent from this conversation. Islam has an incredibly diverse following, and I could never do that diversity justice in a one-hour episode.

Now, this may go on the record books as the longest podcast writeup in the history of Tom Earl podcast writeups, so I’ll end it here, but:

My friends – do yourself this favor. 

Hit play on this one. 

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Give Closure to 2020 & Intentionally Start 2021

2020, right? Wow.  I could probably start every episode writeup this way and get away with it. 

Here’s the thing - I bet if we took the time - there is a lot we can get out of reflecting on 2020. 

The intention of this week’s episode is to provide you with the time, space, and process to do so. 

This episode also acts as a time capsule. 

1 year ago I sat down with a group of my friends and we went through a writing workshop to get clear on our intentions for 2020. 

Little did we know…

And yet - no matter what surprises and worldwide pandemics the future will hold - getting intentional first offers us a foundation to stand on. 

That is why I’m bringing this episode back to life as a replay for you this week. 

First and foremost it gives me the opportunity to go through this writing workshop myself and create closure for 2020, while also giving life to 2021. 

Secondly, I hope it allows you to do the same. 

Even if you don’t have time to sit down and write as you listen - you’ll still get a lot out of going through the writing prompts mentally. 

If you don’t take the time now - 2020 is going to be done and dusted before we even know it. 

Please - give yourself the gift of reflection by going through this episode. 

Do yourself that favor. 

Hit play. 

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Gifts for My Child Episode 5

Featuring: Sadiya Sassine, Cet Mohamed-Moore, Shaan Dasani, and Travis Ray

Here it is! Episode 5 of the ‘Gifts for My Child’ series. In case you’re just jumping in, be sure to listen to episodes 1 & 2 of this series to get the backstory. And, of course, you can always check out episodes 3-4 too. 

Honestly, these interviews really gave me an opportunity to connect with people I care about and have some real conversations with them.

Of course, if there is a question I asked a guest that you have an insightful reflection on, please be sure to share it with me!  

Enjoy this week’s episode!

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An Interview With My Dad

I have been reflecting upon fatherhood ever since… you know… becoming a father. So I knew this would have to be one of the replays I dusted off and brought back to life. 

In May of 2017, I had the opportunity to sit down with my dad for an interview. It’s an episode I treasure and hold dear.  

As a result, it is my honor to share it with you this week.  

Here’s the original writeup: 

I'm so excited that my dad, Tom Earl Sr., joined me for an interview this week!  My dad and I have a special relationship that I am so grateful for.  Not only is he my dad, but he is also my friend, my mentor, an inspiration, and one of my heroes. 

My dad is super humble, so let me brag for a second: he's a self-taught artist and landscape architect, a Vietnam veteran, he raised my oldest sister as a single dad, he started his own business back before it was cool to be an entrepreneur, and he's my dad :).

It took me over a year to convince my dad to do this interview.  And it was well worth the wait.

On this week's episode: My dad shares some cool stories about my childhood and what it's like to be my dad. We also talked about his own personal life journey. Dad imparted some great knowledge about life, entrepreneurship, being unafraid of failure, following passions, and never giving up.

Check out this very personal conversation between my dad and I!

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My Year of Adventure

Each year I set an intention for what my “year of” will be.  In past years, I’ve manifested My Year of Expression, My Year of Balance, My Year of Courage and most recently, My Year of Grace. 

This episode introduces what this year will be - My Year of Adventure! 

To introduce the theme, I take a group of my friends through a writing workshop exploring what adventures this next year will bring.

If you’re looking for an opportunity to set your new year’s intentions and goals - let’s do this.

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My Year of Grace Final Episode

On this week's episode, I reflect upon my year of grace. This is the last episode of 2019, therefore the last episode of the year of grace. Throughout this year, I've had the opportunity to ask some phenomenal people what grace means to them. Not only that, but I also got to hear responses from you sharing what you thought of when you heard my guests reflect upon what grace is. 

All throughout it, I've been journaling and reflecting upon what grace means to me. Here are the 5 things; here are my answers and my reflections upon what grace is. I also share some fun stories from my life and some inspiring stories I've gathered from throughout this past year. 

I hope you check it out! What lessons about grace have you learned this year? I love hearing from you via social media or email at tom@tomearl.com.

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A Q&A Session With Close Friends

In this week’s episode, I host a special Q&A session with some of my awesome friends for an intimate and engaging opportunity. I allow my friends to ask any questions they like - including questions around politics, privilege in the coaching space, how to grow an audience as a musician, advice for creatives about how to get over the feeling of vulnerability when you’re putting out new work, how to decide which social media platforms to leverage if you have limited time and more. 

What I love about Q&A sessions is that you are sure to find some clarity related to questions that you’ve also been wondering. 

Q&A is my favorite form of content because instead of general advice, I can provide specific and nuanced feedback according to the asker’s concerns. I enjoy hearing the range of topics my friends are working on.

If any questions come up for you be sure to reach out on social media or email me at tom@tomearl.com.  

For our next Live Q&A session, visit - www.tomearl.com/events 

Guests: 

Sadiya Sassine IG - @sadiyasassine

@yummy.online

Samia Bano

Grant Hartwell IG - @grantsyourguy

Women’s Mosque

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